Novice how to develop written letter, to increase the turnover rate? – Attach the proposal and closing the case foreigners

August 23, 2011
friends often complain that many sales, development letter poorly, 100 which dozens of letters bounce, and the rest is ignored, a rare foreigner back to a “No, thanks. “half a day can make you excited.
In fact, we have not thought about, this would seriously dampen their enthusiasm. Can imagine, when your day sitting in front of a computer 12 hours, from the Yellow Pages to search google and guest information, a letter issued by a development to go home at night tired face, so full of hope to work the next day when the mailbox full variety of bounce, what do you feel?
I used to do business, year after graduation from a business assistant, with a single start, then do the sales and sales manager, PA to director, until now do buyer, the middle for a few work, have experienced most of the problems experienced by a friend. I was also so for some time, day and night to send sales letters, looking for new guests, endlessly quoted, but the effect is minimal. Was familiar with many different customers later, only to find private chatting, the original letter written by the development is greatly problematic. Many foreigners also do sales, and development will write the letter, why the turnover rate is much higher than we? Even without that the turnover rate, response rate is much higher than us?
a lot of friends who all just graduated out of the International Trade Professional Studies, general business correspondence are learned in this course, teachers repeatedly teach you how to write business letters, how to back inquiry, and so, in fact, These materials are almost academic who compiled, not old-fashioned obsolete, and the reality is the basic out of touch. Many teachers stay in school life, even the foreign trade not done, how can you expect from them here to learn the essence of business letter writing? Real good email, must be drafted in a manner to imitate the foreigners, especially English-speaking guests! Even if your e-mail written a well-syntax subtlety, whole down without any error, the university can get out of writing, and can be received after the guests, or how to look how awkward. I think you give guests the time to write e-mail, we must forget the Chinese language and ways of thinking, according to European and American people are accustomed to think and write messages, so as to allow guests to you as similar.
that day, you just write an e-mail, when most people do not see this message from the hands of a Chinese person, you mastered it!
most of my friends to write the first list some email from time to time the error range, we can see, compare their own, several of them will be there of their own? Development of the next letter and then discuss how to write. Oh.
1) e-mail written is too long. customers time is valuable, received hundreds of emails a day, you think, do not know who a made a long, smelly e-mail to you, in poor English expression, but also increase several M accessories, you will seriously look at? And many foreigners a strong sense of time, a few fixed time every day to deal with email, a lot of lengthy e-mail, as long as the hair is not his acquaintance, and generally will be directly deleted, or set your address spam.
asked me many Western guests, they generally deal with the time each message is 2-3 seconds, which is generally glance, important messages, usually to read and reply right away, not too important , and will be marked on the outlook in dealing with the specific time, then pull the corresponding subdirectories in the inbox. In other words, as long as the guests e-mail address is, and it is you are looking for right person, your letter will remain the development of 2-3 seconds before his eyes, is the fateful moment. In this case, how can you dare to write very long e-mail?
2) there is no clear theme. an explicit theme, guests will simply not interested to open messages from strangers. This requires experience, the content should be concise, direct theme to attract visitors by opening the mail, the purpose is achieved. As he looked after there is no response, depends on the actual situation and the skill of your content. Some people write messages that set the theme: “we are the manufacturer of lights”, Or “need cooperation”, or “Guangdong *** trading company ltd”, or “price list for lights-Guangdong *** trading company ltd “and so on, to see that this is a sell signal. When you sell a week I received a letter, you may be interested to see, but if you sell day received the letter N letters, it is estimated will be so tired, be polite directly delete the. So how the theme written, let guests know that this is the letter sales letters, or could not help but open to see? Will be based on the occasion of the situation to judge.
give you an example, suppose I do solar lights company DEF Co. Ltd, currently the company largest customers are the United States, Home Depot, although it may be done by the traders, not directly co- But can the development of new guests as a bargaining chip! If I write a letter to U.S. development of ABC inc (the name is Part I), I know some from google on the company message that they are U.S. importers have to do solar lights, hoping to Try to develop the guests, I usually like this theme, “Re: ABC inc / Home Depot vendor-solar light / DEF Co., Ltd.”
One, ABC inc company on behalf of the guests name, you wrote on the subject of his first name with his company, said the company respect for them; Home Depot vendor-solar light made it clear that you are a retailer Home Depot in North America second-largest supplier of solar light, only shows the strength, but also arouse his interest; last DEF Co., Ltd. on behalf of their company. In this way, assuming you find the right person, this is the ABC of solar lamps buyer, or is he a director of a sudden one day receive such a mail theme, wow, home depot looking up suppliers , and great, should not have opportunities to see, is not better than the original supplier? The probability that he will open the message very, very big! Moreover, this set also has a good theme that guests do not return your e-mail even if temporarily, but on the inbox, but someday he suddenly wanted to offer you reported, it is easy to find this message! As long as the words enter home depot, to ensure that all of a sudden to find.
3) long-winded description of the company or factory. I do buyer, factories and trading companies will also receive marketing information. Trading companies also slightly better, a lot of factory sales, development is not ye believe it is written, nothing can be said is terrible, a waste of time customers, but also a waste of their time. I often receive similar messages: “We are certain lighting plant, located in the beautiful Yangtze River Delta, Southeast, and convenient transportation, beautiful scenery, from Shanghai and Hangzhou is only two hours drive, our company was founded in 2002, with rich experience in production and development of solar lights, world-renowned, our factory obtained ISO9001: 2000 quality system, in strict accordance with the 5S management, sincerely welcome you to visit our factory to visit, and you want to build lasting business relationships, our faith and service win customers … “and so on, guests will see very impatient, even if you are a good company or a good plant for the first time I received such an e-mail, any who will feel tired.
A friend will ask, it is not completely write it? My answer is, not necessarily, depending on the context. If your company has outstanding advantages, you can write, but the best a passing on it. Can be written: We supply solar lights for Home Depot with high quality and competitive price. Hope to cooperate with you!
Simply, a word or two points to focus, tone up the appetite of foreigners, so that He in turn ask you all kinds of problems, your goal is reached. Do you find the business a long time, very few guests each message a lengthy, even if there is a handful of exceptions, or to confirm some of the details of the class.
4) love to show off the standard of English. used to have assistants, English eight, newly graduated students, wrote to her to foreigners email, always write very like the color of the text, a variety of grammatical clause after another, but also like to use unfamiliar words, people waited a long time to understand needs. If it is English or German-speaking guests, great guests Nordic these English a little better, if you write Japanese Korean Middle Eastern France, then to try any of them, have to spend to see an e-mail dictionaries or translation tools, or half know anything, you will have your guests the impression that good?
Churchill said a word, I forgot the specific content, generally means that the real master, you make the most complex things in simple language to express the most out of all the most simple sentence, the most simple terms, so that students can understand.
In fact, the simple things complicated is easy, simple to complex things is not easy, you need to learn much to imitate the guests e-mail, with the most simple words to express what you want to express . Is the essence of foreign correspondence, “and then simple simple simple”, a word can not express the absolute two words or phrases, words can be used to write clearly and definitely do not write a few words. Who can express the same sentence with a minimum of means, and that is the most powerful!
For example, my former assistant to move when their email HKCEE level, I mean the Chinese to tell them, then let them to simulate a message in English. Very simple, write a message to tell the guests Mike, the last received sample has been sent to the factory, but the plant material that is not ABS, but the PP, the price they need to re-accounting, but in the near future raw material price increases, I hope you confirmation as soon as possible, that we purchase raw materials and their production.
The first candidate is written like this:
Dear Mike,
This is Jenny from EDF Co. Ltd. We e so pleased to receive your samples. I already sent them to our factory last week, and was informed the real material is PP, not ABS as you mentioned last time. What the matter?
I l give you reply as soon as we get the offer from the factory. It will take several days. Please be more patient. But they also told me, the raw material increased these days. Could you please confirm the price quickly after you get it? We l purchase the raw material and do the production immediately!
Looking forward to your reply. Thank you!
Best regards,
Jenny

this message is so well written it? Honestly you can, although the active voice and the person put in more, but all point to the content, expression can be considered fluent, with the words are also very simple, not difficult to understand. But not a bit long-winded? If it simply is not better? We take a look at the second candidate to write email:
Dear Mike,
How are you?
We received your all samples. The factory checked the details, and found the material was PP, not ABS as you told.
Please give them some more time to re-check the price, because the material is different from the past orders. However , the material was increased very quickly! Therefore, please kindly place the order soon if the price is ok for you! We l do production asap.
Thank you in advance!
Kind regards,
Tommy
to this it? I personally feel that on a number than a little, after all, combined with active and passive voice, “We” appears only once, not too boring. Content is a little simple thing, the point in place. The most important is that he purchase the raw material removed, the direct use of “We l do the production asap.” This is more simple, after all, you want to produce, can not purchase raw materials it? So this is nonsense. The disadvantage is, I still feel a little winded.
I would write:
Hi Mike,
Samples received and already passed to vendor. The material was PP, not ABS. Offer sheet is preparing and will be sent to you soon.
By the way, raw material increased these days, pls make a decision quickly to go ahead after price confirmed. We l arrange the mass production asap. < br />
Thanks and best regards,
C
few words point to the subject, expressed clearly on it. Can be used to express a word, do not write a few words, and to cut all the crap you could save. Finished after the fact can be read again to see Naju Hua can be removed, Naju Hua can change a form of expression, less first-person, multi-use passive voice! Wait until you re-check and found no longer simply have a simple, no words can be deleted, then click “send” it ~ ~
as long as the “simple”, “clear”, ” accurate “, which is a good email the.
5) like to use weird fonts. Many people in pursuit of eye-catching, always like to use a very exaggerated fonts, colors, and even enlarge, bold, italic, and so then, in fact, a look will make people uncomfortable. Often write email with foreigners who will find that guests rarely use strange fonts or bold, all caps or even to write the message, except for a few Nigerian, African guests, I really did not come across anything else. Europeans and Americans tend to be more commonly used is the following fonts: Arial, Verdana, Calibri, Times new roman, there are some with the Tahoma font, but relatively less. Taiwan and Hong Kong as part of the guests will use PMingLiU this font. As for colors, usually black or blue, do not appear in an e-mail linked to a variety of odd-odd strange color, like a rainbow, looking uncomfortable.
general special guests in the mail in bold or capital, or marked with a red, is certainly something special emphasis. For example there is a guest e-mail as follows:
Dear C,
Please help to send the samples to my HK office BEFORE THIS WEEKEND.
Thanks .
Rio
This is very obvious, the guests in capital is intended to remind him that must be sent before the weekend! This message may be simple, not easy to ignore you, but if a very long e-mail, which details all kinds of recognition, when suddenly added the weekend to send samples to you, is very easily overlooked.
6) the active voice with too much. English letters, if you look carefully pondering the drafting of foreigners, is rarely full of We, I like the person . In contrast to more passive voice.
For example, tomorrow we will send you samples. Chinese people like to say We l send you the samples tomorrow. This sentence true, correct grammar, meaning clear, but foreigners do not like to say so. They are usually written like this: Samples will be sent to you tomorrow. Used the passive voice, person no.
7) often ask some meaningless words. such as Do you want our products? These words have been me as the most stupid interrogative top of the charts. If the guest said No, how do you reply? Below that, oh no. And you are going to sell itself, you want the guests are interested, you have to rise to the interest of the guests. But this sentence too unpleasant, is equal to the guests at once pushed to the absolute path, must say yes or no.
well, such as Do you interested in our products? Are you sourcing for *****? How is your business recently? Would you like to cooperate with us? these are meaningless words.
Development of the letter or to directly point to tell visitors who you are, what you do, your advantage there. As long as a clear expression of these three points, is completely sufficient. Other things to talk about that later.
like to use accessories and pictures. Attachments, and pictures are not bad, but the first letter sent when the developer if there is attachment or insert a picture, it is easy to intercept the foreign server. Many people like the first contact when the guests on the use of quotations, or packing a lot of product images, or send electronic samples to the guests, so the success rate is not high, not by default, as spam is deleted directly by the guests. Except only one case, when you receive a new guest inquiry, when you reply when you can insert a quotation or pictures.
first contact when the guests the best full-text, not to any of the pictures and accessories.
inquiry even after receiving the first offer the guests, the guests, if not specified, try to avoid using excel or word attachments, preferably directly stated in an email. I generally like this:
Item: Solar lantern with soft handle
Model No.: HBC-294847/KT
Description: .. ……………( the detailed specification clearly written)
Package: color box
MOQ: 1,000 pcs

Pcs / ctn: 20pcs/ctn
Ctn size: 50 * 40 * 60cm
GW / NW: 20kg/18kg

Q y / 20 …. pcs; Q y / 40 … pcs
Loading port: Shenzhen
Payment terms: T / T, L / C, D / P, etc.
Valid time: 60 days
FOB Shenzhen: USD2.39/pc
CIF Valencia: USD2.45/pc
I just wrote above, just want to point out, less quotations, as described in words clearly, and then add in the annex below 500K a clear picture on it. The benefit of this is to avoid a lot of lazy guests do not point to open word or excel attachments quotations. Second, to prevent your guests easily transferred to others sets of quotation price. If guests want you to report a lot of products, can not write clearly in the mail all the time, it can only offer a single word or excel to do, but the best time to complete generated with acrobat pdf format, it is not easy to change. Because many foreigners lazy, spent half a day you worked so hard to be a complete quotation to him, he just delete this one price column, it will be diverted to other suppliers offer.
9) like insert URL links. Many of my friends to write letters when developed, will always add their own content in the company Web site, or adding links in signatures, doing so also has a great probability of being intercepted off the server! After the guests the best response, the second to give him the time to write messages into these no problem.
10) tone is too stiff. In fact, the message itself is relatively rigid, cold in front of a computer to read those words, and talk face to face or telephone communication is completely different. See the word “Pls give me reply today.” This sentence if face to face talk, the guests will not feel any problem, will be very pleased to say ok, or no problem; if the phone said, there will be a big problem; but if on the email, is a little stiff for a little bit of it? If you change “Could you please help to give me reply today?” Use is a question, plus could, help such words appears to be very tactful, but it is clearly expressed hope today you will get an accurate answer. This is not better?
so “please, help, kindly, could, thank you, appreciate” this is the case in the mail from the very common. Unless you and your guests have been very familiar, and occasionally you can look polite, usually can not be required.
So in my opinion, make most often is more than 10 errors, of course, does not rule out some old salesman has a 1-2 problem. You can control what their friends to see the 10 errors, which are often committed by their own will, or is not aware of. If you find yourself after a friend read there will not be a problem, then congratulations to you, this post is not for you, but if you free guidance we are all here and more, so my friends including me to learn more to learn. These are just a little bit of my personal experience, they want you for correcting me.
Oh, and frankly, I e written the email is not good, then there is a more enthusiastic foreigners pointing me some, and then I began to consciously imitate the language of their ways and words and sentences , although there are still shortcomings of one kind, but much better than at the outset of the. We are not afraid of a joke, I just work when I write letters to take a look at the development:
Dear Katherine:
This is C from DEF Co. Ltd. In Shenzhen . Very glad to write to you here! It my pleasure to be on service of you if possible!
Firstly, let me introduce my company in short. We e …….. … (lengthy company, wrote a whole two paragraphs, not posted here)
Our products are very popular in both global market and domestic market. Welcome to visit our company if you have time! We l arrange the car to pick you up from the airport. It convenient to our company, just 50 kilometers! Our goal is ……( purpose here is to write the company and what quality , excellent service, and the like, in short, all those nonsense)
Enclosed our price quotation sheet for your reference. Please check and find if some items meet your interest. If so, I l be happy to send you samples for evaluation! We sincerely hope to establish business relationship with your esteemed company! And I also hope to be your friend in private!
If any questions, please contact me freely! Thank you! < br />
Looking forward to your early reply!
Yours sincerely,
C
DEF Co. Ltd.

**** Road, *** city, *** province, China
Tel: ***
Fax: ***
Email: ***
Website: ***
enough to shock you? I want to laugh now see for yourself. This is a school out of something foreign correspondence study it, practice is really terrible, they can even teach you to write on the upper left corner in the email the company name and company address, date, My goodness, now how can a foreigner like this, Only when the handwriting looks like before only.
next foreigner to share a letter written in email development, we take a look at:
Hey guy,
XYZ trading here, exporting LANTERNS with good quality and low price in US.
Call me, let talk details.
Rgds,
Rick
Cell phone: ***
This is a Brazilian trading company wrote to the development of U.S. companies strange letter. Others also do trading, how to write and we are not the same? Some people would say, Oh, foreigners more lazy. Yes, many foreigners are lazy, but you knew he was lazy, you long-winded, and you feel so lazy people will take the time to carefully read your letter of developing it? Lazy is one thing, this is true, hard-working Chinese people are usually not foreigners, but the contrary, they tend to be concise, clear, saying only that the most important, a no nonsense. Because in their culture, time is precious and can not delay their time, do not delay other people time.
Next, I will share their experience in the successful development of the letter, a personal experience for everyone to share the case, from the development of the final order confirmation letter to the whole process.
I need to go home and carefully look for previous messages, the to and fro all Tieshanglai each round, for your reference.
new things coming here to talk about the past – a German guest to my proposal, I accompanied him to the original, but I deleted the name and the company, other word for word , we see, as I said that the case will impress after another of!
Dear C,
As you mentioned last time, how to write a right email, pls find my reply as follows:
1) short
2) short
3) short again
4) delete all extra words
5) make everything clear
6) that ok, order comes, ah ~
Have a nice day!
N
now and then writing, to fulfill my promise to the letter before the development of successful cases to share with you:
background at the time, the company has a guest looking for an Italian Aluminum LED Flashlight, style rather special packaging is boxed, plus white mail box. I find the factory boss, I find, the company also voted the money to fight the six samples sent to the three guests, unfortunately, did not end the guests orders, the remaining three samples have been in my hands. Then I thought, these three samples can not be utilized to develop other guests to see developed? If other guests are interested in, then I can send a ready-made samples, as long as the guests to pay the freight, I will provide free samples. (Then the state of mind is very simple, as long as new customers are willing to offer to pay the account, I would think that the guests in good faith, we offer free samples, there is hope of a deal. Even now, I still have the mentality of newspaper .)
Then I started searching on google, and having regard to the first Italian old customers specify the product, although not made, but to point out, this is definitely the shape of the product for Europeans taste. So I search is the focus of other European guests, took about an afternoon search and filter, each sub-station in google to see, for example. Dk (google Danish stations),. Uk (google UK stations),. Se (google Sweden station),. it (google Italian stations),. fi (google Finland Station), and so on, some sites did not remove the mailbox, and then remove some of the small retailers and large importers, I finally locked on the target 6 European importers body. They are not guests, because the site can see their company profile and mailbox, and they are doing gift promotional items, plus their website has a similar flashlight, two in Italy, a British, a Swiss, a Polish, and a Swedish. Once the target lock, the next is to develop believed.
because I have a specific product to sell, so developers write the letter on the very targeted. Because these six importers are all on the website name and email, so I wrote six, respectively, in addition to the name not the same, exactly the same content.
Hi Kelvin,
Glad to hear that you e on the market for flashlight and other promotional items.
This is C from ** * Ltd in China. We specialized in flashlights and premiums for 10 years, with the customers of Coca-Cola, Craft, Pepsi, etc., and hope to find a way to cooperate with you!
Please find the pictures with models and different packaging in attachment. An American guy purchased this model in BIG quantity last year. I would like to try now, if it suitable for Europe.
FREE SAMPLES can be sent on request. Call me, let talk more!
Thanks and best regards,
C
*** Ltd

Tel: ***
Fax: ***
Mail: ***
then wrote a total of six different guests so a development letter, the content exactly the same, but different from each other names. Under the so-called too big of a U.S. guests alone, completely prepared, just to give guests a feeling that the Yankees really like this product, under the orders too big Oh, you see, is not the European market can sell that? The last sentence “Call me, let talk more” is deliberately written this way, because few customers would call a stranger, but this sentence makes sense to write up will be greatly different, first of all that this person is very self-confidence, followed by his sincerity, not mass e-mail. These six individuals there is no back four, there is a Huileyiju “thank you, not this time. Bye.”, The last remaining Swedish guests replied that the Kelvin. His message is as follows:
Looks nice! What about the price?
On the word, there is no rise, no inscription, looks like a very rude tone, is not it?
Kelvin was only the Swedish guests have replies, but also not too polite a word: Looks nice! What about the price?
Despite the response, but not a very good thing, because visitors to the mail I guess he was not particularly interested, it may just casually asked. But anyway, finally is the good news is not good, need to look to see if progress can not continue.
My reply was as follows:
Hi Kelvin,
So pleased to get your prompt reply! Regarding this model, pls find the details with offer as follows:
Model: Promotional 14 LED aluminum flashlight w / gift box
Item No.: *** (related to the previous company, to disclose) < br />
Bulb: 14 * white LEDs
Luminosity: more than 15,000 MCD
Size: 39mm (dia of head) * 102mm (length) * 37mm (dia of end)
Weight: 95g (w / o batteries); 115g (w / batteries)
Color: all accepted, pls give us PANTONE code

Photo: pls find the details in attachment (3 pictures I provided in the Annex)
Logo: silk printing or heat transfer printing
Logo charge: FREE
Operating battery: 3 * AAA battery (NOT INCLUDED)
Packaging: 1pc/polybag/gift box / white mail order box
Pcs / ctn: 100pcs/ctn
Ctn size: 75 * 40 * 65cm
GW / NW: 12kg/11kg
Q y / 20 CL: 14,000 pcs; Q y / 40 CL: 28,000 pcs
Payment terms: T / T (with 30% deposit); L / C at sight
Loading port: Shanghai / Ningbo
Sample charge: FREE
Sample lead time: 1-3 days
Order lead time: 30-35 days
FOB price: EUR2.20/pc
Please kindly check and revert at your earlist! Free samples will be sent on request.
Comments please, any questions will be appreciated!
Best regards,
C
that while very powerful appreciation of the renminbi, the dollar has depreciated slightly, we are more panic, and the steady appreciation of the euro was I also happen, even against the yuan have emerged 1:12, so most companies try to trade for the euro in Europe offer visitors to avoid the risk, I as well. After a few months later the euro fell more than U.S. might as well, which we can not foresee the. Fortunately, I was exchange earnings come in, until the settlement, the euro is the highest in a moment, luck be good.
I do not like plus attachments quotations, like all the information on which to write the message clear. When considering that many guests may lazy, too lazy to open the attachment of the word or excel, so only in the annex added a few pictures, including product images alone, with a package of pictures, as well as an effect diagram, above the mark on the size of important information like weight! ! !
this message is actually relatively simple, the price is around, I purposely highlight the free samples, and final offer, specially marked in red in the mail, that is, deliberately to give the guests to see. Although this price was not cheap I reported, but the description in front of me also point out, the brightness is 15,000 MCD, which was similar flashlight sold in Europe, generally around the 11,000 MCD. Moreover, I use the gift box packaging, plus a white mail box, it clearly highlighted this to their product positioning, is the high-end market, so the price should also be washed look to see if the guests reaction to say. . .